Haiku By Her-Aversion

He was so eager

Did not see her head shaking

A resounding no


This is about the "date" I was to have yesterday, but canceled the morning of. I am really sorry to the man who asked me because he really was honest and eager to win my affection. But when I met him, I never saw him beyond being a peer of mine. Especially since our following correspondence was only about school related issues. The contact we had via text was sporadic too.


And then he called over three weeks ago. I do not like missing calls so I called back that next day, since he said he had left a text stating that he had something to say. It was a windy morning and I was on my way to school. He of course asked if I can go inside a building and I said this was the only free time I had......

And then.....


"Are you single?"



"Um......*seriously breathless* .......no!!!!!!!!!! Why?!"


"Look, I am just going to make it short and say I want to take you out. I like you. "

And I am just dumbfounded that he liked me from ONE encounter.

And then of course, the day in the library when he asked me in person as if on a business interview if he could take me on a date and why.

Car? Check. Job? Check. Going to college? Check. Older than me but not too much? Check. Got the same laptop as me? Check. Live within Queens? Check. Honest? Check. Loves communication? Check. Will be willing to make me laugh and smile always? Check. Funny anecdotes? (got her laughing too! FUCKING CHEA!)


Even though I said I was single and wish to stay that way, that despite what he was telling me (and that he reintroduced himself to me....that was cute, I cannot lie.....) I know nothing about him, and that I am not interested in dating.


Sigh. Even when things are not well within my body, like fighting reoccurring infections despite the rounds of antibiotics, low self esteem, depression and anxiety attacks from being date raped and sexually assaulted.....people still find a way to like me. And that is a scary yet intriguing thing.

I guess I am rare and unique. A strong being. There is always something endearing.

But I want to love myself first.


Sorry _____________. I am sure you can find someone more capable of appreciating your gesture.